I'm an old timer, been around quite a few years. Over my lifetime I have had numerous varying degrees of trauma that resulted in lingering PTSD. It doesn't always rear it's ugly head and consume my brain, but when it does, the only way that I successfully wash it away is to counter-act with all the things I am grateful for. You'd be surprised at all the things in your life that you should be proud of and grateful for. Give it a try. It works.
🤔 As someone else observed, if this is how you write when you are not functioning I can't wait for you to be fully recovered because it will be truly amazing 🥂
Simplifying life was a game changer for me - I didn't have c-PTSD but I was burnt out from years of a full time job & full time volunteer work every other waking hour 😱 I had been a back country tramper for years & someone suggested taking a seasonal job as a Ranger for a break, & fortunately I had the right experience & qualifications to be accepted & I spent the following 7 years "taking a break" 🤗 What worked for me was the simplicity & proximity to nature - at the end of my time I found it easy to keep living simply & incorporating the natural world into everyday life by living near to places I can walk to routinely, or drive to occasionally. From your writings & photographs I am picking "close to nature" would be healing for you, and simplicity of living does cost less & require less stress, so good call 👏💪
So pleased you have made progress & have a plan 🫂 Hope comes from seeing better times ahead when you are struggling & of course motivates the "one step at a time" towards the goal. As a Ranger I had to walk nearly 3 hrs to my accommodation (or 5-7 hrs at times) carrying my clothes & whatever fresh food I wanted for 10>14 days, and I would usually have to get there in stages - "I can't get to the hut until I am past HERE" , and "when I am past HERE I am only 1 hr away..." Accepting that things take the time they take & appreciating the journey was one of my biggest learnings - sitting on the side of the track to rest & being visited by friendly curious birds, or observing rare species landing on a branch & I was there to see it BECAUSE I was taking a break ... I guess I am saying that I hope the journey to your new life also has some special breaks along the way 👍🤗
It is winter where I am & keeping warm costs more at this time of year, but next week I might be able to take out a gift sub to contribute to keeping you above the line - a lot of other options cost extra fees so that is simplest (although with other people Ko-fi works as well?)
There is recovery for C PTSD. It is indeed hard to take initial steps. And once you step forward there are times of moving backward, persistence in the process and learning compassion for yourself are key. You can do this.
Hi Mike, My husband returned from Vietnam 56 years ago with complex PTSD. We did not have that name for it back then, but eventually got a diagnosis and help through the VA. I have subscribed for some time as an unpaid subscriber because my finances are slim as well. Your sharing really strikes a chord in me and I tried to send a bit but am struggling with finding you on the sites you named. I think I got the right person on Venmo but they wanted the last 4 of your phone number which I don’t have. And would never presume to ask for. Would it be possible for you to check your exact name on those pay sites and maybe do a little tutorial about how to make it work? Please ignore me if I am out of line, but I’m thinking there may be more folks than me wrestling with this. If nothing else, know there are people out here paying attention to you. Please keep writing to us about your journey. ❤️
These are difficult times and I’m encouraged to hear you are seeking new perspectives that come from shifts in physical space. I’ve found that shakeup to be very effective in the past to move me forward. I look forward to learning more about your plans.
On another note, Patreon offers a similar platform with additional support options that, it appears, Substack does not. I follow and support a writer there and you are able to adjust support across many levels. I wonder if Substack is just too limited on how it supports its authors. I’d also Buy You A Coffee if that was an option.
I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but why not completely change everything- place you live, people you talk to and maybe even give up this writing stuff for a while. Get a totally different job doing something. Not to say you can't come back to writing, but do a job that will occupy a different place in your mind. I'm thinking something to do with nature or busy with lots of people interactions. Anything that pushes you to different place. Just a thought. Good luck Mike.
If you happen to decide to be NH-bound, I am officially offering up any assistance within my purview. Took me 6 years to get out of NJ, and haven't looked back.. Well, okay, I actually miss my optometrist, haha.
(PS, don't take the GWB no matter what the sat nav says)
I also suffer from complex PTSD, so your story makes a lot of sense to me. I’ve been trying for 2 years to get to a place where my nervous system is not always activated, and while I’m not “there” yet, I’ve made some good progress.
Okay, this is going to sound totally cheesy, but of all the things I’ve tried, what has helped me the most is loving myself today and loving the girl/woman in my past who was so horribly abused and feels like it’s her fault.
I hated myself for most of my life. When I first heard “love yourself,” I literally laughed out loud. When I first started saying it, it was a total lie, but somehow over time it became true. Nobody is going to protect me better than I can or love me as much as I can. And that instantly calms my nervous system.
I wish you the best on your journey. I wish I could help financially, but my story is all I’m able to give right now. Take care.
When I see how you can write with a damaged brain, I bow to you and have deep trust in your future writing joy and abundance. Hang in there... Your healing journey is unfolding and we have your back. Thanks so much for sharing
*”In order to have enough to live on, I need to write.
With my system in a disabling state of emergency though, in order to write… I first have to have enough to live on.
You see the cursed circularity?”*
Cursed circularity it is. As someone with Multiple Sclerosis and c-PTSD, I have a lot to say but sometimes my brain won’t let me write it. It’s one of the reasons I haven’t written on my own Substack since last month.
When the brain is injured, it needs rest. When the nervous system is on overdrive, it needs rest (and a reset). The problem is-How can we adequately rest when bills need to be paid, kids need to be raised, etc., ?
We go back to the basics. Remove unnecessary noise, tasks, simplify. It’s what I’m in the process of doing.
Hang in there, Mike. You already know the way forward.
I believe in you and know you will overcome the hurdle(s) ahead. It will not be easy as anything that is worth achieving requires focus, determination and self-belief. I will help where i can 😊
Come west to California. I refresh my head by great walks and hikes all over this area. I can be up at local snow in winter and have dinner at the beach same day or the desert. Only hours from redwoods, Big Sur, Sonoma, Amazing coastlines, long beautiful drives, canyons, cities, people, no people, whatever your soul needs.
Take care of yourself and I wish you an uneventful and easy move. I wish you peace 🙏. Creativity can be a balm, find time to noodle around unbound. Maybe physically write, buy notebooks and colored pens, colored highlighters. Can be cheap stuff for school at the local discount store. No writing goals. ☺️
Evergreen, Colorado. Best place ever. Lots of writers. Really neat community. My son has PTSD from a school shooting at his school. He is a teacher. Seek professional help if you can. 🍀
I'm an old timer, been around quite a few years. Over my lifetime I have had numerous varying degrees of trauma that resulted in lingering PTSD. It doesn't always rear it's ugly head and consume my brain, but when it does, the only way that I successfully wash it away is to counter-act with all the things I am grateful for. You'd be surprised at all the things in your life that you should be proud of and grateful for. Give it a try. It works.
🤔 As someone else observed, if this is how you write when you are not functioning I can't wait for you to be fully recovered because it will be truly amazing 🥂
Simplifying life was a game changer for me - I didn't have c-PTSD but I was burnt out from years of a full time job & full time volunteer work every other waking hour 😱 I had been a back country tramper for years & someone suggested taking a seasonal job as a Ranger for a break, & fortunately I had the right experience & qualifications to be accepted & I spent the following 7 years "taking a break" 🤗 What worked for me was the simplicity & proximity to nature - at the end of my time I found it easy to keep living simply & incorporating the natural world into everyday life by living near to places I can walk to routinely, or drive to occasionally. From your writings & photographs I am picking "close to nature" would be healing for you, and simplicity of living does cost less & require less stress, so good call 👏💪
So pleased you have made progress & have a plan 🫂 Hope comes from seeing better times ahead when you are struggling & of course motivates the "one step at a time" towards the goal. As a Ranger I had to walk nearly 3 hrs to my accommodation (or 5-7 hrs at times) carrying my clothes & whatever fresh food I wanted for 10>14 days, and I would usually have to get there in stages - "I can't get to the hut until I am past HERE" , and "when I am past HERE I am only 1 hr away..." Accepting that things take the time they take & appreciating the journey was one of my biggest learnings - sitting on the side of the track to rest & being visited by friendly curious birds, or observing rare species landing on a branch & I was there to see it BECAUSE I was taking a break ... I guess I am saying that I hope the journey to your new life also has some special breaks along the way 👍🤗
It is winter where I am & keeping warm costs more at this time of year, but next week I might be able to take out a gift sub to contribute to keeping you above the line - a lot of other options cost extra fees so that is simplest (although with other people Ko-fi works as well?)
There is recovery for C PTSD. It is indeed hard to take initial steps. And once you step forward there are times of moving backward, persistence in the process and learning compassion for yourself are key. You can do this.
Hi Mike, My husband returned from Vietnam 56 years ago with complex PTSD. We did not have that name for it back then, but eventually got a diagnosis and help through the VA. I have subscribed for some time as an unpaid subscriber because my finances are slim as well. Your sharing really strikes a chord in me and I tried to send a bit but am struggling with finding you on the sites you named. I think I got the right person on Venmo but they wanted the last 4 of your phone number which I don’t have. And would never presume to ask for. Would it be possible for you to check your exact name on those pay sites and maybe do a little tutorial about how to make it work? Please ignore me if I am out of line, but I’m thinking there may be more folks than me wrestling with this. If nothing else, know there are people out here paying attention to you. Please keep writing to us about your journey. ❤️
Hi Jooby's Mom,
There should be an option you can click to "Pay without confirming" and it should go through.
Also I sent you a direct message.
Hi Mike,
These are difficult times and I’m encouraged to hear you are seeking new perspectives that come from shifts in physical space. I’ve found that shakeup to be very effective in the past to move me forward. I look forward to learning more about your plans.
On another note, Patreon offers a similar platform with additional support options that, it appears, Substack does not. I follow and support a writer there and you are able to adjust support across many levels. I wonder if Substack is just too limited on how it supports its authors. I’d also Buy You A Coffee if that was an option.
Be well.
I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but why not completely change everything- place you live, people you talk to and maybe even give up this writing stuff for a while. Get a totally different job doing something. Not to say you can't come back to writing, but do a job that will occupy a different place in your mind. I'm thinking something to do with nature or busy with lots of people interactions. Anything that pushes you to different place. Just a thought. Good luck Mike.
If you happen to decide to be NH-bound, I am officially offering up any assistance within my purview. Took me 6 years to get out of NJ, and haven't looked back.. Well, okay, I actually miss my optometrist, haha.
(PS, don't take the GWB no matter what the sat nav says)
I also suffer from complex PTSD, so your story makes a lot of sense to me. I’ve been trying for 2 years to get to a place where my nervous system is not always activated, and while I’m not “there” yet, I’ve made some good progress.
Okay, this is going to sound totally cheesy, but of all the things I’ve tried, what has helped me the most is loving myself today and loving the girl/woman in my past who was so horribly abused and feels like it’s her fault.
I hated myself for most of my life. When I first heard “love yourself,” I literally laughed out loud. When I first started saying it, it was a total lie, but somehow over time it became true. Nobody is going to protect me better than I can or love me as much as I can. And that instantly calms my nervous system.
I wish you the best on your journey. I wish I could help financially, but my story is all I’m able to give right now. Take care.
When I see how you can write with a damaged brain, I bow to you and have deep trust in your future writing joy and abundance. Hang in there... Your healing journey is unfolding and we have your back. Thanks so much for sharing
*”In order to have enough to live on, I need to write.
With my system in a disabling state of emergency though, in order to write… I first have to have enough to live on.
You see the cursed circularity?”*
Cursed circularity it is. As someone with Multiple Sclerosis and c-PTSD, I have a lot to say but sometimes my brain won’t let me write it. It’s one of the reasons I haven’t written on my own Substack since last month.
When the brain is injured, it needs rest. When the nervous system is on overdrive, it needs rest (and a reset). The problem is-How can we adequately rest when bills need to be paid, kids need to be raised, etc., ?
We go back to the basics. Remove unnecessary noise, tasks, simplify. It’s what I’m in the process of doing.
Hang in there, Mike. You already know the way forward.
I believe in you and know you will overcome the hurdle(s) ahead. It will not be easy as anything that is worth achieving requires focus, determination and self-belief. I will help where i can 😊
Come west to California. I refresh my head by great walks and hikes all over this area. I can be up at local snow in winter and have dinner at the beach same day or the desert. Only hours from redwoods, Big Sur, Sonoma, Amazing coastlines, long beautiful drives, canyons, cities, people, no people, whatever your soul needs.
Take care of yourself and I wish you an uneventful and easy move. I wish you peace 🙏. Creativity can be a balm, find time to noodle around unbound. Maybe physically write, buy notebooks and colored pens, colored highlighters. Can be cheap stuff for school at the local discount store. No writing goals. ☺️
Okay 👍 … do what you want to do… and don’t do what you don’t want to do … you’re fine.
and work on that particular thing of not judging yourself
Evergreen, Colorado. Best place ever. Lots of writers. Really neat community. My son has PTSD from a school shooting at his school. He is a teacher. Seek professional help if you can. 🍀
Sending you some support Mike. I appreciate your writing so much, and am cheering on the next chapter of your life.