i love this essay so much - it’s late so i’ll just say it warms my heart - you are teaching your son valuable skills. his life will be the better for it
I have read a lot of parenting books in 25 years, but nothing compares to your writing-how accurately and eloquently you capture all of the joy and struggle. It’s just so honest and beautiful. I often take pictures of my kids from behind, walking away from me. From preschool to college and beyond. It reminds me that my role is not only to love them but to prepare them to leave me and walk their own path. You are doing your job well.
What a wonderful story. You’re doing “dadding” right. You made a wise and thoughtful, albeit difficult decision while drawing your line in the sand while he recovered from his injury. Then you allowed him to find the balance in his life that allowed him to make a wise and thoughtful, albeit difficult, decision of how to spend his weekend. He likely learned more about himself and what is important in his life than you may ever know.
I love to read about your relationship with your son and the absolute joy and pride that shines through your writing about him and you.
He could play soccer for a week, a month, a year or whatever, or he could get injured again and not be able to play much at all; but he’ll never get back these teenaged years with his friends and his awesome dad.
This was a delightful and satisfying read. I like your perspective on your job as a parent. Your son will grow up to be a good, happy man in large part because you are so thoughtful about being his Dad.
You are a great dad, no surprise, with an equally great son. I love reading your accounts of the struggles and the successes.
You are both also very, very lucky... It is so easy for things to go otherwise, through no one's fault. I know that your love for each other will hold, you are building an incredible foundation for a lifetime of mutual love and respect. But we never know about tomorrow... My hope for you is that your mutual luck will hold as well; to raise happy, healthy children, we need both.
Having much the same situation with my son, also 15
Headed to high school, wants nothing more than to try out for football.
5’11 225
Problem is, he has a birth defect which leaves him prone to dislocation of his kneecaps.
He’s done it climbing out of the back of a 2door Civic, rehabbed it diligently, only to have a classmate kick the back of his knee which dislocated it again.
Those were both on his right kneecap.
Most recently he rolled over in his sleep blowing out the left one.
So far he hasn’t done any damage to ligaments or tendons but he hasn’t been blocked by a 250 lb lineman yet either.
He wears a stabilizer when at the gym or working out with the team but I worry.
Brings to mind my oldest son who had been doing year round swimming since age 10 - he realized he wanted to spend his last year before college doing other things with his time. Looking ahead and noting that his hours with family and friends were counting down, he chose to drop it and get back those hours and hours when he would be in practices and swim meets. He's still doing summer swim team which is lower key and more fun. I think he made the right choices and I'm happy that he is happy with his choices.
You think your son will be as big of a beta cuck as you are??? Get the fuck out of here with corny shit.
i love this essay so much - it’s late so i’ll just say it warms my heart - you are teaching your son valuable skills. his life will be the better for it
I have read a lot of parenting books in 25 years, but nothing compares to your writing-how accurately and eloquently you capture all of the joy and struggle. It’s just so honest and beautiful. I often take pictures of my kids from behind, walking away from me. From preschool to college and beyond. It reminds me that my role is not only to love them but to prepare them to leave me and walk their own path. You are doing your job well.
What a wonderful story. You’re doing “dadding” right. You made a wise and thoughtful, albeit difficult decision while drawing your line in the sand while he recovered from his injury. Then you allowed him to find the balance in his life that allowed him to make a wise and thoughtful, albeit difficult, decision of how to spend his weekend. He likely learned more about himself and what is important in his life than you may ever know.
I love to read about your relationship with your son and the absolute joy and pride that shines through your writing about him and you.
He could play soccer for a week, a month, a year or whatever, or he could get injured again and not be able to play much at all; but he’ll never get back these teenaged years with his friends and his awesome dad.
Wonderful story, great writing. You have a gift of being able to convey both frustration and love at the same time. Well done.
Superb again, Mike. Emotion-tugging insights, sensitivity and wisdom earned the hard way (as it usually is).
Compelling narrative with teleplay-worthy lines, such as these sparkly gems:
"We're all just teaching our kids to ride a bike over and over and over.
"It's all just one big act of slowly letting our hand off the back of their seat as they ride away on their own."
“Why can’t you just support me?”
I do. Every time we end up in the ER.
Every time you have to rehab to build it back up.
Happy Father’s Day, Mike! You sound like a terrific dad.
I love the Tale of the Bum Leg! You're doing great fatherly things, Mike, and you've built a relationship that will last a lifetime!
Love hearing about your son's activities and the pride you have in his every move. He is one lucky kid!
Happy Fathers Day
This was a delightful and satisfying read. I like your perspective on your job as a parent. Your son will grow up to be a good, happy man in large part because you are so thoughtful about being his Dad.
You are a great dad, no surprise, with an equally great son. I love reading your accounts of the struggles and the successes.
You are both also very, very lucky... It is so easy for things to go otherwise, through no one's fault. I know that your love for each other will hold, you are building an incredible foundation for a lifetime of mutual love and respect. But we never know about tomorrow... My hope for you is that your mutual luck will hold as well; to raise happy, healthy children, we need both.
Having much the same situation with my son, also 15
Headed to high school, wants nothing more than to try out for football.
5’11 225
Problem is, he has a birth defect which leaves him prone to dislocation of his kneecaps.
He’s done it climbing out of the back of a 2door Civic, rehabbed it diligently, only to have a classmate kick the back of his knee which dislocated it again.
Those were both on his right kneecap.
Most recently he rolled over in his sleep blowing out the left one.
So far he hasn’t done any damage to ligaments or tendons but he hasn’t been blocked by a 250 lb lineman yet either.
He wears a stabilizer when at the gym or working out with the team but I worry.
This piece hit home on many levels.
New perspectives all over.
So thanks for that.
I’m very familiar with that one. My son appeared to be developing the same issue at one point.
Brings to mind my oldest son who had been doing year round swimming since age 10 - he realized he wanted to spend his last year before college doing other things with his time. Looking ahead and noting that his hours with family and friends were counting down, he chose to drop it and get back those hours and hours when he would be in practices and swim meets. He's still doing summer swim team which is lower key and more fun. I think he made the right choices and I'm happy that he is happy with his choices.
Awesome. Thanks for sharing!