I just received that “one phone call” that has torn me apart and find its something that can’t be fixed or repaired like a broken tooth. My world shattered as I found out my dad sexually assaulted my son when he was young. If he wasn’t dead already he would be. The cascading effect is soul shaking.
I am so sorry for both your son & you. I cannot even imagine living through this experience. No chance to confront your father. I hope your son & you will both get some help. Take care.
I began following you because of your deeply moving posts about your and your son's relationship. You have a gift for putting words together that resonate with so many and me in particular because I feel like you are describing are how I feel about my own son. I've also made decisions based on my ability to be present with mine and have not a single regret. My son is now 25 and have a relationship of mutual love and respect that I wouldn't trade for the world and know you will continue to experience the exact same with yours.
I think some people ask for the details not because they don’t believe you but because they want to know whether they are safe from experiencing the same. Because they feel vulnerable and they don’t like it.
Very thoughtful reply. Well written and generous. I completely understand where you’re coming from as I’ve been there more than once. The word I constantly remember is grace. Grace for myself and others. We never give enough or allow it for ourselves. The best to you and your son. Your choice to pick him will never be one you regret.
I have followed you since the beginning of my Twitter experience 5 years ago. I liked that you were "real" it seemed. You are the guy who asked us to tell you a good thing that happened for us in the last week. And that made me think about my life and see the good that I might have taken for granted in any week and see that no matter the horrible happening in the world that there are things I can be grateful for.
And now I see you have made, and are making your life fit your narrative. You are the fully fleshed protagonist of your own story. I appreciate your caring awareness, intelligence, and creative honesty. Keep on telling us the things that you think will make us stop and think. Thinking is a good thing that can happen in any week.
Thanks for pointing this out. One of the most memorable things a friend who’d suffered the most appalling abuse from childhood said to a group of us discussing various sexual assaults & harassments, was “This isn’t the fucking Trauma Olympics. I’d win them in this crowd, but it doesn’t matter who had it worst, but that you acknowledge there was trauma & they’re surviving it.” It’s so easy to fall back to your own experiences when trying to empathise with someone else (I did, on your toothache post), when sometimes you should just acknowledge the trauma. What’s never ok is applying judgement & ignorance. So thanks for pointing it out.
Some people have no ability to put themselves in other peoples shoes. ☹️ I’m really happy for you that you got that abscess taken care of and hope you’re feeling better! 😊
Love very word, as always. You hit the nail on the head with the people who are always so quick to say they’ve had hardship but would have done x-y-and-z in your situation. Always the ones of privilege. Always the ones I get so frustrated with their lack of any real empathy.
Anyway, great postscript. I’m grateful you share all these important experiences and what you’ve learned in your talented storytelling fashion, it’s so relatable.
I just received that “one phone call” that has torn me apart and find its something that can’t be fixed or repaired like a broken tooth. My world shattered as I found out my dad sexually assaulted my son when he was young. If he wasn’t dead already he would be. The cascading effect is soul shaking.
I am so sorry for both your son & you. I cannot even imagine living through this experience. No chance to confront your father. I hope your son & you will both get some help. Take care.
I began following you because of your deeply moving posts about your and your son's relationship. You have a gift for putting words together that resonate with so many and me in particular because I feel like you are describing are how I feel about my own son. I've also made decisions based on my ability to be present with mine and have not a single regret. My son is now 25 and have a relationship of mutual love and respect that I wouldn't trade for the world and know you will continue to experience the exact same with yours.
"But misery is not an Olympic event." #truth
I think some people ask for the details not because they don’t believe you but because they want to know whether they are safe from experiencing the same. Because they feel vulnerable and they don’t like it.
Very thoughtful reply. Well written and generous. I completely understand where you’re coming from as I’ve been there more than once. The word I constantly remember is grace. Grace for myself and others. We never give enough or allow it for ourselves. The best to you and your son. Your choice to pick him will never be one you regret.
No one can truly know what another’s struggles are, and we should never try to assume so.
🙏🏼
Well done. In several places I had to stop reading, reflect and re-read before I could go on. All very good stuff.
You are helping people deal with loss. Your writing has a higher purpose. Thank you.
I have followed you since the beginning of my Twitter experience 5 years ago. I liked that you were "real" it seemed. You are the guy who asked us to tell you a good thing that happened for us in the last week. And that made me think about my life and see the good that I might have taken for granted in any week and see that no matter the horrible happening in the world that there are things I can be grateful for.
And now I see you have made, and are making your life fit your narrative. You are the fully fleshed protagonist of your own story. I appreciate your caring awareness, intelligence, and creative honesty. Keep on telling us the things that you think will make us stop and think. Thinking is a good thing that can happen in any week.
You just sparked something in me. I survived as a single mother I can survive and as a person. Man the stress was wicked back then.
So, I got this part I'm going through now. I had way more to deal with then.
Thank you Mike! That really helped.
Thanks for pointing this out. One of the most memorable things a friend who’d suffered the most appalling abuse from childhood said to a group of us discussing various sexual assaults & harassments, was “This isn’t the fucking Trauma Olympics. I’d win them in this crowd, but it doesn’t matter who had it worst, but that you acknowledge there was trauma & they’re surviving it.” It’s so easy to fall back to your own experiences when trying to empathise with someone else (I did, on your toothache post), when sometimes you should just acknowledge the trauma. What’s never ok is applying judgement & ignorance. So thanks for pointing it out.
I hope you are feeling better, Mike.
Perfect. Bravo.
Some people have no ability to put themselves in other peoples shoes. ☹️ I’m really happy for you that you got that abscess taken care of and hope you’re feeling better! 😊
Love very word, as always. You hit the nail on the head with the people who are always so quick to say they’ve had hardship but would have done x-y-and-z in your situation. Always the ones of privilege. Always the ones I get so frustrated with their lack of any real empathy.
Anyway, great postscript. I’m grateful you share all these important experiences and what you’ve learned in your talented storytelling fashion, it’s so relatable.
“Misery is not an Olympic event” My favorite quote that I need to use. Thank you, sir.