I’m back reading older posts and enjoying (again) your words about memories. As I’ve gotten older and talked to old friends about events, I’ve realized that sometimes it takes a collective memory to fully remember an event. Each of us remembers different parts and together we get a much more complete picture. It’s one of the benefits of having the same friends in your life for a long time - “collective memory”.
I used to write a diary everyday & occasionally when tidying or reorganising etc I will waste hours "remembering" 😊 My current "happy" remembrance strategy is to have most of my digital photos on constant rotation on a spare/obsolete laptop so I glance up from reading or watching TV/You Tube & see a face or a place that triggers memories, but it is not as granular as your FB notes - very wise of you to forsee the value to "future you". And how sweet that your son wanted to turn back time to have more time doing something with you 🫂
My photos are particularly special right now as the babies & children in the older photos are now randomly interspersed with photos of THEIR babies & growing children 💕😍
You’re breaking my heart just a little bit, Mike. (I’m also the parent of one son who’s not so small anymore.) But in the kindest way. Beautifully done. 💜
It's why i have more than 100 binders of nothing but memories. My mom used to laugh at me. I said, "well how do you remember?" She would point to her head and her heart. Meanwhile I'd pull out those binders and her first comment would always be, "I forgot all about that." That's why i save it. I'm glad you do too. She died in December. I'm glad I do too.
Exactly this! I see people giving young people shit all the time for taking pictures and videos of everything. Meanwhile, the people giving them grief will never remember the detail the young people do from being able to relive it over and over.
My language moment was when I tried to become chic and took French in college (while still continuing Latin). The beauty I found was the word "souvenir"--which in French was "to return to oneself."
Same vibe. Memories. Beauty. Returning. Remembering. It came back to me with this piece. Thanks for the space.
The elasticity is in the grace of the words while the grace is in the elasticity of the words. Long covid has done a number on this former pretty excellent brain. Memories and forgetting are tricky. This kindness of thought on those shall I say interesting days…. Thanks Mike.
"The hard acid of time wears away at the memory stored in fibers until what is left is more watercolor than capture."
This. Is. Exquisite.
You are so very, very good at this Mike.
I often wonder if the HD preservation of the terrible things is a sort of self-protection during and after moments of trauma. It's quite the contradiction that the best memories become so watered down, while the events that caused us so much pain remain so sharp. So cutting.
Periodically, I dig back in the Hoarse-archives for moments that seem to have all the right words. Last week, I revisited last year's "The Drift of Things," and afterwards left a post it note on my bathroom mirror that says "Life carries us along whether we want it to or not." Maybe these watercolor memories come up for us as tiny life rafts, often exactly when we need them, to remind us to keep going.
That is one thing I find sad about us humans. I've also wondered if it's just me or if it truly is all humans. That is, do we all have the tendency to remember the bad, traumatic, stressful much more readily than the joyful things, or is just me? It may not be all of us, because I do know a small number of people who just seem to radiate joy and assume joyful things are and will be in their future. But I don't know many people like that. They are rare. As for me, I have to work at it. I have to actively look for the joy, acknowledge it and then remember it, otherwise my memories tend toward remembering the disastrous things. The things that went wrong. The times I put my foot in my mouth or did something incredibly thoughtless or stupid. I find though, if I work at it, if I look for and concentrate on the joy, I can kinda, sorta repopulate my attitude with them. As I get older, I'm getting more happy and less cynical. Twenty or thirty more years and I'll be so happy I won't know what to do with myself! This past year, I decided to finally attempt to learn Spanish. I'm taking daily Spanish lessons through the Duo Lingo app. I haven't made it to learning olvidar yet. Thanks for the essay. I like the notion you presented, "Se me olvida el tiempo." In your example with your memories of your son, its sweet and sentimental, nostalgic. It can also be applied to time just slipping away from us if we aren't careful. Looking forward to Part II.
Perhaps this is your superpower, becoming more joyful or finding things that make you remember the happy moments. I had to catch myself being cranky at some thing recently and I am always that bubbling happy brook that finds joy in the smallest of moments. I don’t want to be known for being a cranky old person.
Beautiful essay. Your discussion reminded me that in French, missing a person has a similar construction - "I miss you" is "tu me manques", or "you are missed of/by me". (In this rare case, the French leave off a conjunction, it's understood.)
FB has a ‘memories’ faction, which goes by the same date over the years. Photos and words of wisdom. My children and grandchildren are all geniuses, and I have them on screen.
I’m back reading older posts and enjoying (again) your words about memories. As I’ve gotten older and talked to old friends about events, I’ve realized that sometimes it takes a collective memory to fully remember an event. Each of us remembers different parts and together we get a much more complete picture. It’s one of the benefits of having the same friends in your life for a long time - “collective memory”.
So very beautiful and true. I write my stories to remember.
..https://nynkblog.com/2024/01/26/the-day-the-music-died/
This is brilliant, Mike. 🥰
I yearn for so many moments with my son that forgot themselves to me… how evocative a structure indeed.
👍🏾🫂Beautiful 💙
I used to write a diary everyday & occasionally when tidying or reorganising etc I will waste hours "remembering" 😊 My current "happy" remembrance strategy is to have most of my digital photos on constant rotation on a spare/obsolete laptop so I glance up from reading or watching TV/You Tube & see a face or a place that triggers memories, but it is not as granular as your FB notes - very wise of you to forsee the value to "future you". And how sweet that your son wanted to turn back time to have more time doing something with you 🫂
My photos are particularly special right now as the babies & children in the older photos are now randomly interspersed with photos of THEIR babies & growing children 💕😍
And goes without saying... looking forward to next instalment 👍🏾
You’re breaking my heart just a little bit, Mike. (I’m also the parent of one son who’s not so small anymore.) But in the kindest way. Beautifully done. 💜
It's why i have more than 100 binders of nothing but memories. My mom used to laugh at me. I said, "well how do you remember?" She would point to her head and her heart. Meanwhile I'd pull out those binders and her first comment would always be, "I forgot all about that." That's why i save it. I'm glad you do too. She died in December. I'm glad I do too.
Exactly this! I see people giving young people shit all the time for taking pictures and videos of everything. Meanwhile, the people giving them grief will never remember the detail the young people do from being able to relive it over and over.
and being able to relive it is what makes it extra special. It wasnt great just the one time. It's still great and i can share it...
My language moment was when I tried to become chic and took French in college (while still continuing Latin). The beauty I found was the word "souvenir"--which in French was "to return to oneself."
Same vibe. Memories. Beauty. Returning. Remembering. It came back to me with this piece. Thanks for the space.
Softness.. I will remember this.
The elasticity is in the grace of the words while the grace is in the elasticity of the words. Long covid has done a number on this former pretty excellent brain. Memories and forgetting are tricky. This kindness of thought on those shall I say interesting days…. Thanks Mike.
"The hard acid of time wears away at the memory stored in fibers until what is left is more watercolor than capture."
This. Is. Exquisite.
You are so very, very good at this Mike.
I often wonder if the HD preservation of the terrible things is a sort of self-protection during and after moments of trauma. It's quite the contradiction that the best memories become so watered down, while the events that caused us so much pain remain so sharp. So cutting.
Periodically, I dig back in the Hoarse-archives for moments that seem to have all the right words. Last week, I revisited last year's "The Drift of Things," and afterwards left a post it note on my bathroom mirror that says "Life carries us along whether we want it to or not." Maybe these watercolor memories come up for us as tiny life rafts, often exactly when we need them, to remind us to keep going.
I can't wait for Part Two.
That is one thing I find sad about us humans. I've also wondered if it's just me or if it truly is all humans. That is, do we all have the tendency to remember the bad, traumatic, stressful much more readily than the joyful things, or is just me? It may not be all of us, because I do know a small number of people who just seem to radiate joy and assume joyful things are and will be in their future. But I don't know many people like that. They are rare. As for me, I have to work at it. I have to actively look for the joy, acknowledge it and then remember it, otherwise my memories tend toward remembering the disastrous things. The things that went wrong. The times I put my foot in my mouth or did something incredibly thoughtless or stupid. I find though, if I work at it, if I look for and concentrate on the joy, I can kinda, sorta repopulate my attitude with them. As I get older, I'm getting more happy and less cynical. Twenty or thirty more years and I'll be so happy I won't know what to do with myself! This past year, I decided to finally attempt to learn Spanish. I'm taking daily Spanish lessons through the Duo Lingo app. I haven't made it to learning olvidar yet. Thanks for the essay. I like the notion you presented, "Se me olvida el tiempo." In your example with your memories of your son, its sweet and sentimental, nostalgic. It can also be applied to time just slipping away from us if we aren't careful. Looking forward to Part II.
Perhaps this is your superpower, becoming more joyful or finding things that make you remember the happy moments. I had to catch myself being cranky at some thing recently and I am always that bubbling happy brook that finds joy in the smallest of moments. I don’t want to be known for being a cranky old person.
Excellent. I needed this in the middle of an extremely frustrating week.
Beautiful essay. Your discussion reminded me that in French, missing a person has a similar construction - "I miss you" is "tu me manques", or "you are missed of/by me". (In this rare case, the French leave off a conjunction, it's understood.)
FB has a ‘memories’ faction, which goes by the same date over the years. Photos and words of wisdom. My children and grandchildren are all geniuses, and I have them on screen.
I’m experiencing a massive moment of synchronicity with regard to this post.
As always, you’re the chronologer of the words from our hearts we couldn’t find ourselves.
Love ya, my friend.