When we last left off in the little running tale of my trip to California with my son, things had gone all kinds of wrong on the trip out, but we had made it in one piece; salvaged the scuttled first day with one good meal; and gone to bed fed.
I’m behind on reading, but today I have time to catch up. I love the stories you write about love, especially the love you have for your son. I, too, have a son. He is grown now, at 24 he’s still finding his way in life as a young adult. I love him with every cell of my body. He moved out of our house a year ago, as one should, but I still miss seeing him daily. Currently we are on a family vacation to the PNW, my husband has a conference in Seattle for part of the trip. The past few days in Seattle I’ve had the joy of spending 1:1 quality time with my son. Oh, how I’ve loved & appreciated the time.
Thank you for writing about the love you feel as a parent.
I just read this again - a beautiful picture - I can feel it. I get this. I’ve been looking at my 18 year old son, leaving for college on Thurs., and thinking back to moments before. How building his own Lego creations turned into him building his own electric go-kart. How talking to him now feels like talking to a peer, in a way. He knows so much and is someone I love to hang out with.
I feel concern for future you, Mike, when you get to this point. I know you are already anticipating it though and are already more acutely aware than I was when my son was 15. I feel kind of dumb that I didn’t really think about the fact that parenting has an end. Of course I’ll always be his mom but this is the end of an era and I didn’t really think about it much until now. I don’t like change, or maybe more accurately, I don’t like change I am not in ‘control’ of. Everything changes so I really need to work on that. One thing that helped me the other day was just getting out for a walk and looking at nature - how it is always there and always changing. That’s how my relationship will be/ is. The love will continue through every season - I just need to see the beauty in it all.
So thanks for writing these heartfelt pieces and thanks also for curating a space where it's possible to share with each other in the comments. I've been helped by the words of others who have already been where I am/going.
I know I’ve said this before, but there is so my heart in everything you write about your son. I pictured all of this so vividly that it made me cry. I have a 20 year old daughter & 11 year old son. I’ve already experienced those treasured moments becoming less and less frequent with my daughter. So, I’m clinging desperately to the ones with my son.
Man. Hit me hard. Your relationship with your son reminds me so much of mine with my dad. My mother was a borderline personality and my dad basically saved me. Our getaways and bonding times were different than the ones you and your son share, but they were super important to me just the same. Like he’d close his business at noon on Saturdays, pick me up from dance class, and then we’d go to our fave burger place. Sometimes we’d go fishing (I caught my first trout at 7 and he took a photo of a triumphant me haha). When I was 12, he taught me how to drive and shoot lol. (In Mexico when he was coming up those two skills were pretty important). My mother had no interest in these activities - fortunately. So they weren’t contaminated. The memories you are giving your son are priceless. He might not admit that for a while, btw, but he will grow to appreciate them more and more. And he will always know deep down that no matter what befalls him there is at least one person on the planet that will have his back. That is worth more than just about anything and good on you for providing that.
Goodness, I really felt this one. My daughter turned 16 in June. I've had so many moments over the past few months where I've watched her and seen her at 2 and 6 and 12 and as she is today. And I've loved her in every one of those moments.
I didn't have the greatest day yesterday. I don't always share that with my kids but she caught me in the emotion of it and didn't quite know how to handle it in the moment. In the moment, I thought she was wonderful. She wrote me a note overnight and left it on my desk. That girl of mine brought me to tears with her beautiful words of comfort written just for me.
All I could think was that if I have done nothing else I have raised an honest, genuine kid who knows how to express her feelings, comfort her mother and see the heartbreak in another person. For that I am truly grateful.
Thank you for this. These moments we have as parents to really look at our kids and see the beauty in them is fleeting. Thank you for sharing it with us.
P.S. In the memory gardening department: I recently discovered that my iPhone has a "For You" section where it puts together all kinds of videos of photo memories. There are videos of places, or times, or certain people. You can edit the photos it uses if there's one that doesn't really fit, etc. You can change the music they select too. My guess is it will put together a great one for your recent trip.
You may already know about this (probably do) but just in case, I thought I'd share. I've really been loving looking back, especially as my son gets ready to leave for college next week.
You communicate it so well...that "a brief moment that somehow captures the depth and importance and significance of a connection" thing! I get it, and my heart responds to it. I don't have children of my own, but forging relationships with kids has been the joy of my life...truly the purpose I am on this earth. Treasuring those moments when your heart suddenly sees the depth and impact and VALUE...it's never about whether the kids will actually consciously remember...but knowing the IMPACT and VALUE will be with them forever. And we get to pull those memories out of the glass bottle every now and then and simply be thankful not to have missed them.
Your comments about these stories being for future you reminded me of a tweet I saw where a father created an email address for his newborn son and emailed him all sorts of achievements and milestones and stories. He plans to give his son the password when he’s grown. Great stuff
Thank you! It has been evident how much love you have for your son every time you write about your relationship. This one, however, was the most special to date. He knows you love him, but one day, he'll read this and realize he never quite knew how deeply that love was
I’m behind on reading, but today I have time to catch up. I love the stories you write about love, especially the love you have for your son. I, too, have a son. He is grown now, at 24 he’s still finding his way in life as a young adult. I love him with every cell of my body. He moved out of our house a year ago, as one should, but I still miss seeing him daily. Currently we are on a family vacation to the PNW, my husband has a conference in Seattle for part of the trip. The past few days in Seattle I’ve had the joy of spending 1:1 quality time with my son. Oh, how I’ve loved & appreciated the time.
Thank you for writing about the love you feel as a parent.
I just read this again - a beautiful picture - I can feel it. I get this. I’ve been looking at my 18 year old son, leaving for college on Thurs., and thinking back to moments before. How building his own Lego creations turned into him building his own electric go-kart. How talking to him now feels like talking to a peer, in a way. He knows so much and is someone I love to hang out with.
I feel concern for future you, Mike, when you get to this point. I know you are already anticipating it though and are already more acutely aware than I was when my son was 15. I feel kind of dumb that I didn’t really think about the fact that parenting has an end. Of course I’ll always be his mom but this is the end of an era and I didn’t really think about it much until now. I don’t like change, or maybe more accurately, I don’t like change I am not in ‘control’ of. Everything changes so I really need to work on that. One thing that helped me the other day was just getting out for a walk and looking at nature - how it is always there and always changing. That’s how my relationship will be/ is. The love will continue through every season - I just need to see the beauty in it all.
So thanks for writing these heartfelt pieces and thanks also for curating a space where it's possible to share with each other in the comments. I've been helped by the words of others who have already been where I am/going.
I know I’ve said this before, but there is so my heart in everything you write about your son. I pictured all of this so vividly that it made me cry. I have a 20 year old daughter & 11 year old son. I’ve already experienced those treasured moments becoming less and less frequent with my daughter. So, I’m clinging desperately to the ones with my son.
Man. Hit me hard. Your relationship with your son reminds me so much of mine with my dad. My mother was a borderline personality and my dad basically saved me. Our getaways and bonding times were different than the ones you and your son share, but they were super important to me just the same. Like he’d close his business at noon on Saturdays, pick me up from dance class, and then we’d go to our fave burger place. Sometimes we’d go fishing (I caught my first trout at 7 and he took a photo of a triumphant me haha). When I was 12, he taught me how to drive and shoot lol. (In Mexico when he was coming up those two skills were pretty important). My mother had no interest in these activities - fortunately. So they weren’t contaminated. The memories you are giving your son are priceless. He might not admit that for a while, btw, but he will grow to appreciate them more and more. And he will always know deep down that no matter what befalls him there is at least one person on the planet that will have his back. That is worth more than just about anything and good on you for providing that.
Goodness, I really felt this one. My daughter turned 16 in June. I've had so many moments over the past few months where I've watched her and seen her at 2 and 6 and 12 and as she is today. And I've loved her in every one of those moments.
I didn't have the greatest day yesterday. I don't always share that with my kids but she caught me in the emotion of it and didn't quite know how to handle it in the moment. In the moment, I thought she was wonderful. She wrote me a note overnight and left it on my desk. That girl of mine brought me to tears with her beautiful words of comfort written just for me.
All I could think was that if I have done nothing else I have raised an honest, genuine kid who knows how to express her feelings, comfort her mother and see the heartbreak in another person. For that I am truly grateful.
Thank you for this. These moments we have as parents to really look at our kids and see the beauty in them is fleeting. Thank you for sharing it with us.
P.S. In the memory gardening department: I recently discovered that my iPhone has a "For You" section where it puts together all kinds of videos of photo memories. There are videos of places, or times, or certain people. You can edit the photos it uses if there's one that doesn't really fit, etc. You can change the music they select too. My guess is it will put together a great one for your recent trip.
You may already know about this (probably do) but just in case, I thought I'd share. I've really been loving looking back, especially as my son gets ready to leave for college next week.
Well done! And 🎂🥳
You communicate it so well...that "a brief moment that somehow captures the depth and importance and significance of a connection" thing! I get it, and my heart responds to it. I don't have children of my own, but forging relationships with kids has been the joy of my life...truly the purpose I am on this earth. Treasuring those moments when your heart suddenly sees the depth and impact and VALUE...it's never about whether the kids will actually consciously remember...but knowing the IMPACT and VALUE will be with them forever. And we get to pull those memories out of the glass bottle every now and then and simply be thankful not to have missed them.
Perfection!
Damn you, making my face leak once again . Good memories are for revisiting time and again.
You did an amazing job showing us how much you love your son. A picture painted so perfectly it's like we were there with you.
And now I’m all 😭, starting to panic as my son starts his senior year of HS. There’s just not enough time 💔.
Your comments about these stories being for future you reminded me of a tweet I saw where a father created an email address for his newborn son and emailed him all sorts of achievements and milestones and stories. He plans to give his son the password when he’s grown. Great stuff
Love ❤️
Thank you! It has been evident how much love you have for your son every time you write about your relationship. This one, however, was the most special to date. He knows you love him, but one day, he'll read this and realize he never quite knew how deeply that love was
You did it. You’ll love this and feel all the feels when you read it again in a few years. Well done.