You're such a gifted writer, Mike. But more than that, you're such a special parent. I lost my parents very young. I was an orphan by age 11. How might my life have been different if only... I'll enjoy every bit of your journey with your boy. Thanks for the feelings you bring.
I hope you guys have a blast! I love LA, warts and all haha. I was born there and have split my life between So Cal and Nor Cal where I am now. Looking forward to reading about your adventures 😎
“It is bookended by living with me on only one side. The other bookend is an end scene. In it, there will be me first standing at the end of a driveway and then stepping out into the road to watch as taillights pull away and then fade until gone.”
After that first sentence, I barely skimmed the rest - it struck so deep, I feared the words that followed. But, of course, your words draw us in. I tried to be brave. I tried to read and feel each word. But still, I found myself seeing the words but avoiding their understanding - avoiding the mental image they would conjure, which I knew would ultimately reveal itself to be a cloud of grief that would knock me to my knees.
My son is 13. I haven’t made the choices you have. I’ve made choices that would give me more time with my children, but then I feel I haven’t made the best of that time. Somehow it gets filled with laundry, or just tiredness. I feel his separation from me - not alienation, just the usual 13-year-old differentiating himself. I love watching the man he is becoming, but there is time lost I can never get back. “It’s never too late to make a memory” is something that was said to me recently. I hold onto this, and I try, but I feel I’m failing to make these moments meaningful, and they’re flying away from me faster and faster every day.
And yet ... It’s nice to know these words are here. I have trouble accessing my sadness sometimes. My logical mind shuts that feeling down, and I think rather than feel. It’s something I’m working on, and these words may be the override to my default setting whenever I muster the courage to let them work their magic. So I thank you.
I admit I haven’t read thru your two latest posts completely. I started but then “life” has been crazy busy. I’m saving them for when I can take my time and READ them. But, I just wanted to say I love the term “memory Gardner”. I’m that person too. I keep the memories of my childhood, my children’s childhood and now my 2 grandkids. Not all the memories in my garden are good. In fact most of the ones from my childhood are rotten. But the ones from my kids and beautiful flowers, and the grands will be even taller and stronger. Have a spectacular vacation with your son ❤️
I haven't been here that long though I followed you for years on twitter before I took my leave. I just love this Mike. My daughter is going into her junior year this year. I read this and thought - I only have one summer left. Time is fleeting but I've tried to enjoy every moment. Thanks for bringing us along. I'm looking forward to it.
As I replied on Twitter, I got the timing wrong in my mind and thought you guys were already out there this week so I thought your flight delay was your return trip east. I thought you were perhaps waiting to write about it until you got back.
Reading that you are taking us along with you instead makes me feel like we get to go too, in a way, and I’m looking forward to this trip for you and for us readers.
I have just one son. He just turned 32 this summer. One of the most poignant, bitter-sweet moments of my entire life was they day we moved him into his dorm - the same one my husband and I once lived in, which was pretty surreal. I was both full to the brim with excitement for him, and hollowed-out with the knowledge that he would never again be completely mine to enjoy. But I am happy to report that isn't really true. Our relationship continues to bloom. It's just different. I can't wait to hear about your trip. When you write about your relationship with your son, you really shine as a writer. I hope you both make wonderful memories on this trip. Enjoy!
And even the transitional summer is coming to an end. In three days.
Just three more days until my son will move out and on toward following his childhood dream of training to become a train driver.
Just three more days until him and me will pull the front door of our home closed, get in the car and start the 8-hour drive to Berlin to set him up in his dorm. I get to spend a few days with him there exploring.
And then, next Sunday, I’ll get in the car, alone. And drive back to our home he will no longer share with us on a daily basis.
I’m dreading that moment. And anticipating it with excitement at the same time. I’m sad and happy, melancholy and proud.
But mostly I’m grateful and thankful. To have been given this extraordinary chance of being a mother to an amazing son who’s unafraid to chase his dreams.
They say: kids should get two things from their parents - roots and wings.
What a magical ride it’s been until this point in providing my son with the roots he needs to plant himself steady in this life to come.
The way life is so uncertain around me, around the country, around the world, I was doing a virtual-breath-hold for you until hearing that you had ACTUALLY started the vacation! The best laid plans & all that. Glad to be riding shotgun with the rest of your support crew ...
I’m very interested to see what you find. I haven’t been back to my birthplace (Hollywood - yeah, really. Lol) for a long time. Been thinking of taking a trip back once I can fly again (long COVID is no bueno). In the meantime, I’ll just ride the virtual Hoarse Express.
I’m sitting at my 41 yr old sons house, caring for my little granddaughter, while he and his wife have gone out for an evening. We don’t live in the same town so this isn’t a common occurrence. I’ve just taken a deep breath and relived every precious moment of today. No moment has passed unnoticed but now I’ve made doubly sure of that. Thanks
You're such a gifted writer, Mike. But more than that, you're such a special parent. I lost my parents very young. I was an orphan by age 11. How might my life have been different if only... I'll enjoy every bit of your journey with your boy. Thanks for the feelings you bring.
I hope you guys have a blast! I love LA, warts and all haha. I was born there and have split my life between So Cal and Nor Cal where I am now. Looking forward to reading about your adventures 😎
“It is bookended by living with me on only one side. The other bookend is an end scene. In it, there will be me first standing at the end of a driveway and then stepping out into the road to watch as taillights pull away and then fade until gone.”
After that first sentence, I barely skimmed the rest - it struck so deep, I feared the words that followed. But, of course, your words draw us in. I tried to be brave. I tried to read and feel each word. But still, I found myself seeing the words but avoiding their understanding - avoiding the mental image they would conjure, which I knew would ultimately reveal itself to be a cloud of grief that would knock me to my knees.
My son is 13. I haven’t made the choices you have. I’ve made choices that would give me more time with my children, but then I feel I haven’t made the best of that time. Somehow it gets filled with laundry, or just tiredness. I feel his separation from me - not alienation, just the usual 13-year-old differentiating himself. I love watching the man he is becoming, but there is time lost I can never get back. “It’s never too late to make a memory” is something that was said to me recently. I hold onto this, and I try, but I feel I’m failing to make these moments meaningful, and they’re flying away from me faster and faster every day.
And yet ... It’s nice to know these words are here. I have trouble accessing my sadness sometimes. My logical mind shuts that feeling down, and I think rather than feel. It’s something I’m working on, and these words may be the override to my default setting whenever I muster the courage to let them work their magic. So I thank you.
I admit I haven’t read thru your two latest posts completely. I started but then “life” has been crazy busy. I’m saving them for when I can take my time and READ them. But, I just wanted to say I love the term “memory Gardner”. I’m that person too. I keep the memories of my childhood, my children’s childhood and now my 2 grandkids. Not all the memories in my garden are good. In fact most of the ones from my childhood are rotten. But the ones from my kids and beautiful flowers, and the grands will be even taller and stronger. Have a spectacular vacation with your son ❤️
I haven't been here that long though I followed you for years on twitter before I took my leave. I just love this Mike. My daughter is going into her junior year this year. I read this and thought - I only have one summer left. Time is fleeting but I've tried to enjoy every moment. Thanks for bringing us along. I'm looking forward to it.
As I replied on Twitter, I got the timing wrong in my mind and thought you guys were already out there this week so I thought your flight delay was your return trip east. I thought you were perhaps waiting to write about it until you got back.
Reading that you are taking us along with you instead makes me feel like we get to go too, in a way, and I’m looking forward to this trip for you and for us readers.
So glad you made it there! Enjoy!! 😎
Enjoy it, Mike. Looking forward to reading about your experiences along the way.
Beautiful.
I have just one son. He just turned 32 this summer. One of the most poignant, bitter-sweet moments of my entire life was they day we moved him into his dorm - the same one my husband and I once lived in, which was pretty surreal. I was both full to the brim with excitement for him, and hollowed-out with the knowledge that he would never again be completely mine to enjoy. But I am happy to report that isn't really true. Our relationship continues to bloom. It's just different. I can't wait to hear about your trip. When you write about your relationship with your son, you really shine as a writer. I hope you both make wonderful memories on this trip. Enjoy!
Oh, do I feel this.
My countdown of summers is down to zero.
And even the transitional summer is coming to an end. In three days.
Just three more days until my son will move out and on toward following his childhood dream of training to become a train driver.
Just three more days until him and me will pull the front door of our home closed, get in the car and start the 8-hour drive to Berlin to set him up in his dorm. I get to spend a few days with him there exploring.
And then, next Sunday, I’ll get in the car, alone. And drive back to our home he will no longer share with us on a daily basis.
I’m dreading that moment. And anticipating it with excitement at the same time. I’m sad and happy, melancholy and proud.
But mostly I’m grateful and thankful. To have been given this extraordinary chance of being a mother to an amazing son who’s unafraid to chase his dreams.
They say: kids should get two things from their parents - roots and wings.
What a magical ride it’s been until this point in providing my son with the roots he needs to plant himself steady in this life to come.
Next Sunday, I will give him his wings.
Strap in for takeoff.
I am following close behind you with my son starting college soon (move in day is Aug. 24th).
Best wishes to your son on his training! And all the best to you too as you navigate this new time.
Same ❤️❤️
I'm really looking forward to this California diary, as your BBQ trip was a fantastic read. Send us postcards and have a wonderful time!
Enjoy🌹
The way life is so uncertain around me, around the country, around the world, I was doing a virtual-breath-hold for you until hearing that you had ACTUALLY started the vacation! The best laid plans & all that. Glad to be riding shotgun with the rest of your support crew ...
I’m very interested to see what you find. I haven’t been back to my birthplace (Hollywood - yeah, really. Lol) for a long time. Been thinking of taking a trip back once I can fly again (long COVID is no bueno). In the meantime, I’ll just ride the virtual Hoarse Express.
I’m so happy for you.
I’m sitting at my 41 yr old sons house, caring for my little granddaughter, while he and his wife have gone out for an evening. We don’t live in the same town so this isn’t a common occurrence. I’ve just taken a deep breath and relived every precious moment of today. No moment has passed unnoticed but now I’ve made doubly sure of that. Thanks
“I’m a memory gardener, and these trips with my son are among my favorite flowers.”
As a single mom of two adult sons, this beautifully written sentence made me tear up. Your writing often speaks to my heart.
Judy, have you read his other piece where he writes about being a memory gardener?
It is one of my favorites. Posting the link just in case you didn't get to read it before and for anyone else interested too. https://www.hoarsewhisperings.com/p/ten-times-around-the-planet
This is the sentence that captured me, too.