I so enjoy your writing. I find the feelings and revelations they bring lighting up corners of my memories like little sparks, putting into words things I can't articulate myself. An unexpected treat are the comments, from an equally thoughtful bunch. Feeling a slight shift in the universe knowing you are all out there.
Love this. When I was going through cancer treatments as a mother with elementary school age children (now 18 years ago, yea!) I distinctly remembered now I was struck by how much that experience shows me how much missed and loved the routine of “normal” - everyday work and family stresses, which were a lot at that time. But dealing with health issues became another new normal, and when the treatments were done and I returned to “normal” I went into a depression. It was all so strange, but also so deepening as a person. Luckily I came out of it and it was episodic and not chronic, but I now know, know n a real way, what depression is, which I hadn’t before. And I know, know in a real way, what a real health scare is. I’m grateful and live to learn another day.
I’m really enjoying your writing since I found you over here. I had a very difficult week when a completely unexpected and devastating health issue appeared. Somehow just reading about your day was like wrapping up in a fuzzy blanket. Thanks.
You each provide a moment of normalcy and predictability for the other. I have done just that, myself, assembling a new life from an old one that was blown to smithereens by Things. It was a good way to build into a larger, more comfortable form of normalcy, inch by inch, step by step.
Mike, sounds like what you have there is a friend—no—family, loosely defined. As i age and cling to safety during our own raging shitstorms it’s reassuring to know normal, small moments of grace and generosity exist.
Sometimes, normal is all we have. It can be uncomfortable and still familiar at the same time. We've spent the last 6 years living abnormally, we need to find what is a new "normal.
It's the sharing, sometimes just speaking the situation into reality, to face the problems head on ( recently got interested in Ray Dalio 's Principles - radical realty/ face the problems head on).
Our normal may not be actually "normal" but a definite need to gather a support team, seek advice from professionals and expose the ugly to defuse its impact, especially on one's well being.
I'm a "fixer" - mostly in a singular manner. A childhood trauma skill, that served well as a social services professional, but has also given me a blind spot in my personal life.
In this new year, I will not be embarrassed or closed mouth stating my reality. Not for sympathy but to find the best solutions from those who know. And a paper trail ( I know this - if it's not documented it didn't happen) so assistance can be summoned. I actually made progress this week. Documented events. And professionals showed up at my door.
Again, Hoarse/ Mike -
Thanks for hitting home and offering a sounding board.
I get so homesick for these occasional, meaningful conversations with strangers. It's micro therapy, and immediate understanding that my trials and anxieties with life are perfectly normal. Here in England, it's not done.
Thanks for this ... sometimes all we need to make the almost unbearable bearable is to share connections like this. Doesn't change our circumstances, but can change our attitude/ability to fight through the challenges of now, and be ready for whatever tomorrow brings. Just to be "heard" without being lectured to is a gift.
I so enjoy your writing. I find the feelings and revelations they bring lighting up corners of my memories like little sparks, putting into words things I can't articulate myself. An unexpected treat are the comments, from an equally thoughtful bunch. Feeling a slight shift in the universe knowing you are all out there.
Love this. When I was going through cancer treatments as a mother with elementary school age children (now 18 years ago, yea!) I distinctly remembered now I was struck by how much that experience shows me how much missed and loved the routine of “normal” - everyday work and family stresses, which were a lot at that time. But dealing with health issues became another new normal, and when the treatments were done and I returned to “normal” I went into a depression. It was all so strange, but also so deepening as a person. Luckily I came out of it and it was episodic and not chronic, but I now know, know n a real way, what depression is, which I hadn’t before. And I know, know in a real way, what a real health scare is. I’m grateful and live to learn another day.
"That is how it works when you know someone else’s normal and they know yours."
I don't know why, but this is one of the most comfortiing stories yet. Acceptance.
Thank you for another well written piece that accurately captures the normalcy of normal.
I’m really enjoying your writing since I found you over here. I had a very difficult week when a completely unexpected and devastating health issue appeared. Somehow just reading about your day was like wrapping up in a fuzzy blanket. Thanks.
I’m sorry to hear of your health issue. I hope it resolves and becomes just another thing you’ve overcome.
You each provide a moment of normalcy and predictability for the other. I have done just that, myself, assembling a new life from an old one that was blown to smithereens by Things. It was a good way to build into a larger, more comfortable form of normalcy, inch by inch, step by step.
This came at a really good time. I forwarded part of it to my husband and three sons. Thanks very much, Sir!
Puts me in time, place and feeling.
Mike, sounds like what you have there is a friend—no—family, loosely defined. As i age and cling to safety during our own raging shitstorms it’s reassuring to know normal, small moments of grace and generosity exist.
Sometimes, normal is all we have. It can be uncomfortable and still familiar at the same time. We've spent the last 6 years living abnormally, we need to find what is a new "normal.
Best part: no self-pity, no request for empathy.
It's the sharing, sometimes just speaking the situation into reality, to face the problems head on ( recently got interested in Ray Dalio 's Principles - radical realty/ face the problems head on).
Our normal may not be actually "normal" but a definite need to gather a support team, seek advice from professionals and expose the ugly to defuse its impact, especially on one's well being.
I'm a "fixer" - mostly in a singular manner. A childhood trauma skill, that served well as a social services professional, but has also given me a blind spot in my personal life.
In this new year, I will not be embarrassed or closed mouth stating my reality. Not for sympathy but to find the best solutions from those who know. And a paper trail ( I know this - if it's not documented it didn't happen) so assistance can be summoned. I actually made progress this week. Documented events. And professionals showed up at my door.
Again, Hoarse/ Mike -
Thanks for hitting home and offering a sounding board.
Blessings.
I just wanted to say I read this yesterday and came back to read it again this morning because it’s really stayed with me. Thank you.
Magnificent.
I get so homesick for these occasional, meaningful conversations with strangers. It's micro therapy, and immediate understanding that my trials and anxieties with life are perfectly normal. Here in England, it's not done.
Wow, your writing is getting better and better! So happy to read it! This is so sparse but perfect. Hemingway stuff.
Thanks for this ... sometimes all we need to make the almost unbearable bearable is to share connections like this. Doesn't change our circumstances, but can change our attitude/ability to fight through the challenges of now, and be ready for whatever tomorrow brings. Just to be "heard" without being lectured to is a gift.