“Opting to not even consider a potential aid for a thing that actually exists in your life and can potentially be improved though… that’s a different thing. Don’t do that to yourself. There is no medal for valor awarded to people who do things the hard way. There are only lifetime spent doing things the hard way.)”
I used to say something similar to my therapy clients. They wanted help for their depression but some would only go half way e.g., participating in therapy but making excuses on why they didn’t want to take their antidepressant.
There’s no prize for not taking meds (that have been prescribed) to help your condition. There’s only continued chaos + pain.
I’m so glad you decided to take the damn pill. It really is magical when it works.
Since I figured out about a year and a half ago that I’ve had a raging case of untreated ADHD all my life, I sometimes wonder whether it would make any sense to try and get treatment at this point after surviving over half a century without it, especially now that can finally afford to upgrade the janky healthcare plan I’ve been making do with but have to wait another half-year for open enrollment.
You have just made the argument for when the voice of reason asks, “Isn’t continuing to suffer a debilitating condition for which there is a known remedy a little…um…perverse?” Verdict: “Not necessarily “. My frame of reference for substance withdrawal is the brain-pulverizing headache that takes me completely out by mid-afternoon in the event I miss my one little cup of half-caf in the morning; and the fatigue you describe here is at least 150 shades of “HELL NO!”.
Relatable. I just went through an “I-don’t-need-meds” phase recently and that exhaustion is 2 legit 2 quit, my friend. And then, putting an unmedicated ADHD person to the tasks of remembering to call a doctor for the monthly refill and then figuring out how/when to get to the pharmacy to pick up said meds is just cruel. Happily back to (somewhat) normal... until next month 🥴
How awful to be bothered by a chronic condition and and on top of that having to deal with the uncertainty if aquiring the necessary meds on time is even possible and if not what that entails.
To your mind, you've mentioned it ad nauseum; to me, new here, I never knew until it was alluded to in the comments of the post of the Panera-adjacent search for a place to write. I know what bone-dead tired feels like, and I expect what you're experiencing is 100x that. All of it makes what you're doing here, especially the long posts, especially writing on the regular, all the more remarkable. Crossed fingers you're able to get your Rx soon.
I felt every word of this. Every one. Could have written it myself. Rationing and running out is reality lately and sucks. Not just tired...cannot think or function. Addy is a miracle for those of us that depend on it.
And the universe forbid if a couple from the monthly allotment end up under the refrigerator or down the sink 😧 I’ve taken to skipping my 2nd daily dose (I have to juggle work time to accomodate that) 3-4 days a month to create a small stockpile cuz I just *know I’m going to do something klutzy. And no, my doc can’t just prescribe a gap fill amount. Another thing not allowed.
How bloody awful for you. I wish there was something I could do for you but as the saying goes "if wishes were horses, beggers would ride". Seriously, I hope you get new meds soon.
What a huge bummer Mike. Isn’t there anything the doc who prescribes it for you can do? No clue what that might be but it’s terrible to hear about such debilitating fatigue. Try Dateline - those guys will put you to sleep even faster than Criminal Minds
Got diagnosed at 40 while working on my graduate degree. Spent all night at school working on my action research paper after a day of teaching. Drove home at 6AM to shower, return to school and teach another day. The gift of my ADHD is that almost all I think about is teaching. The hard part of ADHD is that almost all I think about is teaching.
It is helpful as an educator to connect with students and families that are also on this roller coaster. Medicine is life changing. It has also allowed me to be able to focus long enough to develop better habits that help me navigate all the things in my life that don’t revolve around education. Laundry, bills, cleaning, organizing, family.
This sounds extremely debilitating - hope you can get a long term solution to your medical supply so you can avoid this. I can be empathetic & sympathetic, but not having EXPERIENCED it and being as I live in a country with a sensible health system, it seems unbelievable that people such as yourself with a long diagnosed problem for which there is a long recognised solution, could end up like this. I know ... doesn't help you to know/have reaffirmed how crazy the US health system is eh? Hope your meds get sorted - I love most of your writing, but this one hurts my heart, even if it educates those of us who might have OTHER neuro-diversities, (or be neuro-normies) to these hidden effects of a break in needed medication for you & others.
Sorry you have to deal with the fatigue...Been there, done that. I knew I was in trouble when my bed sheets were too heavy to lift...turned out, RA was the culprit. Hope you feel better soon.
“Opting to not even consider a potential aid for a thing that actually exists in your life and can potentially be improved though… that’s a different thing. Don’t do that to yourself. There is no medal for valor awarded to people who do things the hard way. There are only lifetime spent doing things the hard way.)”
I used to say something similar to my therapy clients. They wanted help for their depression but some would only go half way e.g., participating in therapy but making excuses on why they didn’t want to take their antidepressant.
There’s no prize for not taking meds (that have been prescribed) to help your condition. There’s only continued chaos + pain.
I’m so glad you decided to take the damn pill. It really is magical when it works.
Since I figured out about a year and a half ago that I’ve had a raging case of untreated ADHD all my life, I sometimes wonder whether it would make any sense to try and get treatment at this point after surviving over half a century without it, especially now that can finally afford to upgrade the janky healthcare plan I’ve been making do with but have to wait another half-year for open enrollment.
You have just made the argument for when the voice of reason asks, “Isn’t continuing to suffer a debilitating condition for which there is a known remedy a little…um…perverse?” Verdict: “Not necessarily “. My frame of reference for substance withdrawal is the brain-pulverizing headache that takes me completely out by mid-afternoon in the event I miss my one little cup of half-caf in the morning; and the fatigue you describe here is at least 150 shades of “HELL NO!”.
Relatable. I just went through an “I-don’t-need-meds” phase recently and that exhaustion is 2 legit 2 quit, my friend. And then, putting an unmedicated ADHD person to the tasks of remembering to call a doctor for the monthly refill and then figuring out how/when to get to the pharmacy to pick up said meds is just cruel. Happily back to (somewhat) normal... until next month 🥴
Hope you get out of the exhaustion soon, man.
How awful to be bothered by a chronic condition and and on top of that having to deal with the uncertainty if aquiring the necessary meds on time is even possible and if not what that entails.
Feel better soon.
Oh I laughed at your Forensic Files osmosis!
To your mind, you've mentioned it ad nauseum; to me, new here, I never knew until it was alluded to in the comments of the post of the Panera-adjacent search for a place to write. I know what bone-dead tired feels like, and I expect what you're experiencing is 100x that. All of it makes what you're doing here, especially the long posts, especially writing on the regular, all the more remarkable. Crossed fingers you're able to get your Rx soon.
Dang, I’m exhausted from reading what you’ve been dealing with. Hope you’re able to get your meds soon and get to feeling better. 😔🤗
I felt every word of this. Every one. Could have written it myself. Rationing and running out is reality lately and sucks. Not just tired...cannot think or function. Addy is a miracle for those of us that depend on it.
And the universe forbid if a couple from the monthly allotment end up under the refrigerator or down the sink 😧 I’ve taken to skipping my 2nd daily dose (I have to juggle work time to accomodate that) 3-4 days a month to create a small stockpile cuz I just *know I’m going to do something klutzy. And no, my doc can’t just prescribe a gap fill amount. Another thing not allowed.
How bloody awful for you. I wish there was something I could do for you but as the saying goes "if wishes were horses, beggers would ride". Seriously, I hope you get new meds soon.
It's easy to see how shitty and frustrated you feel. Sorry. 😕 Hope you can get the rx situation back in order soon.
You need to see your doctor now.
What a huge bummer Mike. Isn’t there anything the doc who prescribes it for you can do? No clue what that might be but it’s terrible to hear about such debilitating fatigue. Try Dateline - those guys will put you to sleep even faster than Criminal Minds
Terrible to hear about it yeah sure Sniggy. Try going through it you bimbette
Got diagnosed at 40 while working on my graduate degree. Spent all night at school working on my action research paper after a day of teaching. Drove home at 6AM to shower, return to school and teach another day. The gift of my ADHD is that almost all I think about is teaching. The hard part of ADHD is that almost all I think about is teaching.
It is helpful as an educator to connect with students and families that are also on this roller coaster. Medicine is life changing. It has also allowed me to be able to focus long enough to develop better habits that help me navigate all the things in my life that don’t revolve around education. Laundry, bills, cleaning, organizing, family.
This sounds extremely debilitating - hope you can get a long term solution to your medical supply so you can avoid this. I can be empathetic & sympathetic, but not having EXPERIENCED it and being as I live in a country with a sensible health system, it seems unbelievable that people such as yourself with a long diagnosed problem for which there is a long recognised solution, could end up like this. I know ... doesn't help you to know/have reaffirmed how crazy the US health system is eh? Hope your meds get sorted - I love most of your writing, but this one hurts my heart, even if it educates those of us who might have OTHER neuro-diversities, (or be neuro-normies) to these hidden effects of a break in needed medication for you & others.
Sorry you have to deal with the fatigue...Been there, done that. I knew I was in trouble when my bed sheets were too heavy to lift...turned out, RA was the culprit. Hope you feel better soon.
Mike, many things jump to mind, all vying to go first. I hope your prescription comes in ASAP for you. How hideous.
I appreciated your explanations and analogies, having a family member and a best friend's child who are ADHD. Spot on. Well articulated.
Also laughed loudly at "neuro normies" . We forget and take so much of life and daily living for granted. It gave me a gentle rap on the soul.
Maintain your healthy diet, outdoor time ( vitamin D - sunshine !) has so many perks, often overlooked.
Please keep us in the loop as this unfolds. You are appreciated and supported by thousands.