I'm so sorry that your son was injured. I remember his previous injury and how hard he worked to get back into playing condition. I hope he recovers without surgery this time. Whatever happens, he's lucky to have a dad like you to support his mental AND physical health. Sending healing thoughts your way.
You are a good dad. Whether it is physical or emotional or both, boys need a parent to just be with them sometimes. My son broke an arm, fractured his jaw and then hyperextended his knee. That was a piece of cake compared to him finding out he didn't get a scholarship to his chosen school with a 34 ACT score. It didn't matter he had been offered a full ride elsewhere. I had to rush home because he was so upset I thought he was going to hurt himself. He did survive and took the offered scholarship, attended for 4 years, but he ended up graduating from his chosen school as a 5th year senior and I paid for it. 😊
Be that dad, the loving and soft heart. Boys are given such a raw deal in terms of allowable feelings. Sometimes I think gender confusion can also be based on the longing to share some “feminine” qualities often denied to boys and men. You are so right about emotional pain. He has to go through it but you can be that father/friend and guide who helps him understand life is long and it will get better.
This is so well said. As someone who has experienced significant orthopedic injuries and surgeries over the last few years, I can attest that beyond the pain and rehab, there is a lingering feeling of "brokenness" that attends the injury. You question your health, you grieve the things you can't do as a result of the injuries/surgeries, you feel "less than". And these feelings don't necessarily go away once the surgery has "fixed" the problem. I can only imagine how much worse it is for young men who don't have the support system to be able to discuss those feelings. Kudos to you for recognizing the issue and being that support for your son.
You are such a wonderful dad. And person. I know you will help your son navigate this as no one can. He’s very lucky, in spite of this rough patch. You’ll both get through it with love and fortitude. Hoping for the best possible outcome.
Emotional pain is rough. I’ve said for years that I figured on physical pain as I got older, but didn’t anticipate the emotional stuff. Not a fan.
Again, your son is luckier than he knows. Bless you both. 💕
As everyone has said, we’re here. Do what you can when you can. The only pressure on you is coming from yourself (as per usual). ♥️
I hope the emotional disappointment will heal along with the physical. It is so reassuring to read about an American “good” dad. I live in Italy where good dads are not uncommon. Hoping for the best for the two of you.
oh and of course, hoping your son can heal without surgery! I know how scary serious injury can be with a child, soccer was a big part of my son's sports too.
Nice to see you back in my email! My son is now 40 y/o but as my first born I still recall trying to not baby him as a teenager but still wanting him to know he could always lean on me to support him. He didn't have a great father figure as his dad lived in another state, and he spent his entire high school years at a military-style prep school so getting him to open up to me was so important to our relationship, if that's understandable.
Hoping for the best with your son. I’ve been there with my oldest son who played high school basketball. You are right, the hurts are more than physical. They want to play so badly that, to them, it may seem like their whole being is in jeopardy. Hold him close. Hope he can keep playing.
I’m so sorry. It sucks so much when someone has worked so very hard for something and then it may not happen due to something they can’t control. Here’s hoping it won’t require surgery.
Your son is lucky to have a thoughtful father who can be and is there for him. I hope his recovery is full...no matter how long that takes. Please remember to take of you too.
Revisiting this post wondering how Lil Hoarse is doing....
I'm so sorry that your son was injured. I remember his previous injury and how hard he worked to get back into playing condition. I hope he recovers without surgery this time. Whatever happens, he's lucky to have a dad like you to support his mental AND physical health. Sending healing thoughts your way.
You are a good dad. Whether it is physical or emotional or both, boys need a parent to just be with them sometimes. My son broke an arm, fractured his jaw and then hyperextended his knee. That was a piece of cake compared to him finding out he didn't get a scholarship to his chosen school with a 34 ACT score. It didn't matter he had been offered a full ride elsewhere. I had to rush home because he was so upset I thought he was going to hurt himself. He did survive and took the offered scholarship, attended for 4 years, but he ended up graduating from his chosen school as a 5th year senior and I paid for it. 😊
Be that dad, the loving and soft heart. Boys are given such a raw deal in terms of allowable feelings. Sometimes I think gender confusion can also be based on the longing to share some “feminine” qualities often denied to boys and men. You are so right about emotional pain. He has to go through it but you can be that father/friend and guide who helps him understand life is long and it will get better.
"When there is something wrong, I feel better when my son is with me,"
I recall on 9/11, the acute feeling of not wanting my children and I separated, so I certainly understand your feelings.
This is so well said. As someone who has experienced significant orthopedic injuries and surgeries over the last few years, I can attest that beyond the pain and rehab, there is a lingering feeling of "brokenness" that attends the injury. You question your health, you grieve the things you can't do as a result of the injuries/surgeries, you feel "less than". And these feelings don't necessarily go away once the surgery has "fixed" the problem. I can only imagine how much worse it is for young men who don't have the support system to be able to discuss those feelings. Kudos to you for recognizing the issue and being that support for your son.
This was really a sweet read! I am hoping your son makes a miraculous recovery and gets on the soccer team.
You are such a wonderful dad. And person. I know you will help your son navigate this as no one can. He’s very lucky, in spite of this rough patch. You’ll both get through it with love and fortitude. Hoping for the best possible outcome.
Emotional pain is rough. I’ve said for years that I figured on physical pain as I got older, but didn’t anticipate the emotional stuff. Not a fan.
Again, your son is luckier than he knows. Bless you both. 💕
As everyone has said, we’re here. Do what you can when you can. The only pressure on you is coming from yourself (as per usual). ♥️
I hope the emotional disappointment will heal along with the physical. It is so reassuring to read about an American “good” dad. I live in Italy where good dads are not uncommon. Hoping for the best for the two of you.
When our children hurt, we hurt.
Their wounds, our wounds.
You are correct - that connection, it’s something. Transcendent even.
oh and of course, hoping your son can heal without surgery! I know how scary serious injury can be with a child, soccer was a big part of my son's sports too.
Nice to see you back in my email! My son is now 40 y/o but as my first born I still recall trying to not baby him as a teenager but still wanting him to know he could always lean on me to support him. He didn't have a great father figure as his dad lived in another state, and he spent his entire high school years at a military-style prep school so getting him to open up to me was so important to our relationship, if that's understandable.
🥰
Hoping for the best with your son. I’ve been there with my oldest son who played high school basketball. You are right, the hurts are more than physical. They want to play so badly that, to them, it may seem like their whole being is in jeopardy. Hold him close. Hope he can keep playing.
I’m so sorry. It sucks so much when someone has worked so very hard for something and then it may not happen due to something they can’t control. Here’s hoping it won’t require surgery.
Your son is lucky to have a thoughtful father who can be and is there for him. I hope his recovery is full...no matter how long that takes. Please remember to take of you too.